


Scar tissue

by boleyn13



Series: Let's be lonely together [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avenger Loki (Marvel), Developing Relationship, Falling In Love, First Dates, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Getting Together, Living Together, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-10 08:48:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13498614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boleyn13/pseuds/boleyn13
Summary: “You’re in for a world of awesomeness, you know that?”“Yeah? How so?”“I’m going to tell you  all the things that I didn’t say until now, because I wasn’t sure if you’d kill me.”“Like what?”Taking a deep breath Tony enjoyed Loki’s scent that entered his nose. “For example that you smell so fucking good…”Tony heard Loki chuckle softly and a warm feeling spread inside of his chest.Tony is keeping his promise and is taking Loki out on their first date. For once everything goes down like it's supposed to.





	Scar tissue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everybody,
> 
> Here we go - the last part. I really enjoyed this little series and I hope you did too :)

Looking back at his life Tony wouldn’t even know where to start if he should count all of his mistakes. An awful lot would be the short answer. No need to sugar-coat the truth, Tony was well aware of his bad decision making. What a long and sad history that had come to its ultimate climax last night. Seriously, he deserved a medal for this.

Now Tony was lying in his bed, staring at the ceiling, having no idea what to do. In his long life he had never had to deal with that kind of problem. Today was going to be a world of awkwardness.

Rubbing both hands over his face Tony tried to go over the entire situation again and where it had all gone completely wrong. So Loki and him had technically had their first date last night. Like 7 hours ago. It had been about time and Tony felt that warm sensation spreading inside his chest when he thought about the two of them sitting on the balcony, drinking wine and contemplating the stars. The tamest and simplest date Tony had ever had and yet definitely the best one.

Except for him being an idiot.

They had been holding hands and Tony had fallen asleep in the stupid deckchair. Without even kissing Loki first. So all they had done last night was holding hands. Since they were both adults that didn’t mean anything. Which meant that Loki could easily pretend that nothing had ever happened and Tony couldn’t have that.

Unfortunately Tony had no fucking idea how to act the morning after not sleeping with someone. Tony was an expert at how to gently or not so gently let his one-night-stand know the next morning that things aren’t going to work out and that they should have already left.

Piece of cake.

What Tony had no idea how to do was telling somebody that he wanted to kiss and worship every part of their body. Okay, he had done that before, but at that time he had also wanted that person gone the next morning. Loki was supposed to stay around.

It was time to come up with a strategy.

Given Tony’s luck Loki might have changed his mind over night, so Tony had to quickly bring back the perfect atmosphere from a couple of hours ago. How about just bursting into Loki’s room and tell him they were immediately leaving for a walk through Central Park? Or maybe Tony should just stop coming up with stupid ideas and talk to him? That had worked until now.

How long had it been since Tony had actually worried about this kind of stuff? How another person saw him. That another person wanted him.

Not another person. Loki. Who was gorgeous and who gave Tony the goose bumps by holding his hand. Like teenagers.

Releasing a long breath Tony got up from his bed, feeling stupid for actually lying down in the first place. He could have easily stayed on the balcony, he hadn’t even closed his eyes. Before doing anything else Tony should definitely take a shower if he didn’t want Loki to run away at the sight of him. Or at the smell of him.

A part of him hoped that the cold water would bring some kind of revelation, but that didn’t happen. Tony stepped out of the shower as a shivering mess, still having no idea how to act now. Which was beyond ridiculous. Flirting and getting people to eat out of his hand was second nature. Sure, he didn’t want drag Loki through his sheets one time and then push him off the edge of the bed, but the basic premise to start with was the same.

‘Hey, we held hands last night and I think we’ve had a moment until I fell asleep and please let me finally take you out on a date. I don’t wanna start begging that would be pathetic and I can’t look stupid in front of you, because you are awesome and…’ No, Tony couldn’t even finish that thought, he was completely out of his depth.

Okay, step after step. Logic. They were living in the same tower. They would cross paths eventually. Today. Tony had to come up with some great… or at least smart. Breakfast. Breakfast was a good idea. Tony had to be pretty fast though, because usually Loki was in charge of food. Having his decision made Tony rushed from his bedroom to the kitchen.

Perfect plan. By the time Loki would join him Tony would have prepared the most perfect pancakes ever made, Loki would be blown away and then Tony could very smoothly bring up the dating issue. Just as Tony was starting to feel good about this everything had to go to shit naturally.

He burst into the kitchen to see his gorgeous roommate already being there, cutting mushrooms. Well fuck. Tony could still try to sneak back out… as if Loki hadn’t already noticed him. This was already awkward. Exactly what Tony didn’t want.

Pathetic, right. This was Loki. Tony had never been this nervous around him. Not even when he had still thought that Loki might kill him if he said the wrong thing. This was worse and Tony had already enough of it.

Softly clearing his throat Tony stepped further into the room. “Morning…” Fantastic, his voice was cracking.

Loki turned his head and Tony felt his heart skipping a beat. Thank god, he didn’t look pissed. Not smiling either. Just friendly enough. Tony was so sick of feeling confused.

“Good morning…I’m making omelettes. Do you want mushrooms with yours?”

The simplest kind of question. Yes or no. It would have no lasting impact whatsoever and yet Tony was completely dumbfounded. So were they really pretending like nothing had happened or was Loki just trying to start a conversation?

“Sure… yeah… mushrooms would be great.” Tony mumbled hoarsely, only receiving a short nod and Loki’s eyes were back on the stove. Standing there Tony felt out of place and had no idea what to do now. The urge to say something was almost overwhelming, but his entire vocabulary seemed to have disappeared. Since he had to do something, anything, Tony sat down at the table and watched Loki.

A blue t-shirt, black sweatpants that were loosely hanging on his hips. It was obviously not the first time that Tony noticed Loki’s beautiful silhouette. Any other time Tony would have enjoyed simply sitting there and look at Loki. Normally they would already be talking. They should be talking.

Yesterday should have been the hard part. Like actually insinuating a romantic action between the two of them. That should have been nerve-racking, should have made him shiver and his heart race. Which hadn’t been the case. No, it had been shockingly easy. Everything had happened on its own and now Tony was sitting here, with his heart furiously hammering in his chest, having no idea what even to say to Loki.

Fuck all of this, that wasn’t right. Loki and him were great together, great even. Great at talking, great at silence. Now both of these things were terribly awkward and Tony just wanted to wrap himself around Loki. Why not just tell him how much he had liked last night? Tony had already written him a note, telling him that he wanted to date him. The hardest part was done, right?

Tony took another deep breath before standing up. “Loki… about last night…”

Another step forward at the same time when Loki turned around. Words. The things Tony was supposed to use. All gone. Loki’s green eyes were looking at him and while Tony had never seen them like this they reminded him of that night when Loki had lain on the roof of the tower, staring at the stars.

Full of melancholy. Vulnerable.

No. Loki couldn’t be in the exact same situation, right? Not that witty, smart-ass, sometimes cold son of a bitch. Tony was the weird, pathetic guy with severe issues. Well, they both had issues, majors ones, but Tony couldn’t deny that together they almost worked out as completely normal people.

“I just wanted to… Okay, this usually isn’t so hard for me. I’m supposed to be good at this, but I have no clue what to say and I’m going to blame you for that. What we’ve talked about last night… “

“You really have no clue what to say.” Loki pointed out and Tony groaned in frustration. “I just said that that was your fault, right? I would come up with some great lines if you just let me talk for a second… Or no, maybe you shouldn’t do that. We’ve been talking so much…”

Tony’s whining made Loki hint at a smile and then suddenly everything was again like it was supposed to be. This was them. Loki and him. The two guys who were kind of making the other one feel like they were less fucked up. Maybe even, together, they weren’t fucked up at all. When Tony felt Loki’s breath ghosting over his face he realised that he must have come closer. Or had it been Tony himself? He had no idea and what did it matter? Loki was right in front of him and Tony’s hand had somehow ended up on his wrist. The skin was cool and soft. Loki’s eyes were as green as a dark meadow after the rain.

What was the point in mumbling and stuttering?

Tony leaned closer, feeling Loki’s cheek brushing against his own. So close that Tony could smell the pleasing scent of Loki’s hair. Something that Tony wanted around himself all the time. Slowly Tony’s thumb stroked over Loki’s lower arm. How he would like to feel his heartbeat. When Tony pulled back it was just enough to press his mouth on Loki’s. There had been enough first kisses in Tony’s life for him to know that this was a bit awkward. For a moment. The few seconds they needed to figure out how to move their lips against each other.

Then it clicked and the kiss was like everything else they did together – easy. Loki’s hands were on his waist, Tony tilted his head slightly to better make up for the height difference. Their lips fitted together just right, Loki tasted like toothpaste and Tony liked it. His tongue brushed over Loki’s lower lip but didn’t push past it. A kiss that was soft, but not quite chaste. Loki seemingly liked to use his teeth the slightest bit, but in a way that send pleasant shivers down Tony’s back. His other hand settled on Loki’s hip, slowly pulling him closer.

When most of the taste of the toothpaste had faded away Tony found an underlying, fresh sweetness that maybe was just pure Loki. Another thing that he wanted more of.

They pulled apart eventually, Loki’s hands still on Tony’s waist, Tony’s on Loki wrist and hip. Tony couldn’t stop himself from humming softly. All the awkward- and nervousness was gone and Tony was smiling. “Is it weird that I expected some flying, magical sparks? You being a sorcerer and all?”

“Weird and stupid…” Loki responded with a smile on his own before leaning in again and were instantly engaged in a new kiss. More demanding this time. Tony got to feel the touch of Loki’s tongue and he knew he was completely lost. He wanted more and the knowledge that this was his now didn’t do anything to allay his thirst for more. Gently he moved forward, pushing Loki back against the counter. The most amazing thing was that Loki actually let him. More than that, his hands moved lower, palms on Tony’s hips, fingers on his backside.

So many ideas were floating through his head. Most of them involved the kitchen counter and Loki’s beautiful, long legs. Ideas that obviously would have to wait since the smell of burned omelettes ruined the atmosphere.

Loki clearly reluctantly pushed him away and turned to the stove. “Well, nobody is going to eat that now.” Putting the pan aside Loki sighed and Tony put his arms around Loki’s waist from behind, burying his face between Loki’s shoulders. “We could always postpone breakfast…”

A chuckle escaped Loki’s lips. Amused, happy and Tony felt the same. Suddenly it became painfully obvious that he had wanted to touch Loki for a very long time. Not necessarily in a sexual way. Just feeling the warmth of his body through his clothes was making Tony feel incredibly content. Like there was nothing he would rather do.

Except for one or two things, but these also involved Loki.

“I’m hungry, so we’re going to eat breakfast and afterwards you are going to take me out like you promised me. That’s what’s going to happen….”

“Alright.” Tony laughed and pressed a kiss to the back of Loki’s neck. He wouldn’t let go of the other one during the whole time it took Loki to make two new omelettes. That was also enough time for Tony to feel stupid about freaking out just 15 minutes ago. “You’re in for a world of awesomeness, you know that?”

“Yeah? How so?”

“I’m going to tell you  all the things that I didn’t say until now, because I wasn’t sure if you’d kill me.”

“Like?”

Taking a deep breath Tony enjoyed Loki’s scent that entered his nose. “For example that you smell so fucking good…”

Tony heard Loki chuckle softly and a warm feeling spread inside of his chest. Encouraged, he pressed another kiss on Loki’s neck, but eventually let go of him when Loki picked up the plate with the omelettes. They sat down at the table and Tony knew that he was probably in for the best breakfast of his life. “So where do you want to go? Walk in the park? Or do you want to go dancing? Or get out of the city? Something completely mundane since you’re frequently travelling to other worlds?”

Smiling softly Loki shook his head. “Why don’t you surprise me?”

Tony’s mind started racing, because this was going to be the best date someone had ever had. Like this breakfast. Damn, those endorphins were working quickly. “Okay, I’ll think of something… and it’s really cool that I feel asleep last night?”

Loki shot him a glance that he was stupid for even asking that question and at the same time it was so definitely endearing. The pleasant silence was back as Tony enjoyed his omelette and the presence of his boyfriend. Yes, he had already placed Loki in that category and that wasn’t going to change.

 ***

“Are you serious?” Loki arched one of his eyebrows in the most condescending way and Tony just wanted to kiss that expression off his face. Wait a second. Why not? He could actually do that now. So Tony hooked his fingers around the belt loops of Loki’s jeans, pulled him forward and kissed that gorgeous, patronizing face. “Yes, I am. You wanted a surprise, didn’t you?”

With one eyebrow still raised Loki looked from Tony to the climbing wall. “Yes, but this? I’ve told you that I can technically fly, right?”

“Come on, this is going to be fun! Physical activity! We’re hanging around on the couch all the time. This is going to be awesome. Come on, you go first. I’ll secure you. A great trust exercise.” Tony pecked him on the lips one more time and then pushed him towards the wall.

Loki glanced over his shoulder before taking another look at the wall. Eventually he turned back around and crossed his arms in front of his chest. That reproachful stare was even sexier. “You just want me to climb up this thing, so you can look at my behind.”

“Guilty as charged… no need to envious though, we’ll take turns.” Tony winked at him and Loki’s lips twitched. Tony could tell that he was fighting to not start laughing. Eventually he gave up and put his hand on one of the first holds.

Immediately one of the instructors showed up next to them. “Sorry, guys, but you need to put on the harness first before you go up.”

And the condescending gaze was back and Tony was the one who burst out laughing. Rolling his eyes Loki began climbing despite the instructors protests. They subsided pretty quickly though when he saw how quickly Loki made his way to the top. At a pace that wasn’t humanly possible. Only a couple of seconds later Loki was hanging on to the highest holds, looking down at Tony. “There, seen enough?”

“Not nearly!” Tony shouted and Loki rolled his eyes again. Until now Tony hadn’t known that it was possible to screw your face up in such an affectionate way. “You are ridiculous.”

“Don’t pretend that you don’t know that.”

Without an answer Loki climbed back down, just as fast as he had climbed up. The instructor was still standing there, staring with an open mouth and Loki just kept ignoring him. “There we’ve done some climbing. Can we get out of here now and I decide what we’re going to do?”

“Sure thing, handsome.” Tony was fine with everything as long as they were hanging out together. Grinning contently Loki grabbed Tony’s hand and pulled him along while Tony was smiling stupidly to himself. They were holding hands again. He was turning back into a teenager and Tony didn’t mind at all.

Back out on the street Tony pulled out his phone. “Do I need to call Happy?”

Not saying anything Loki put one hand on Tony’s hip and pulled him closer. They were standing on a rather busy sidewalk, people passing them by and Tony couldn’t be bothered. He could feel the warmth of Loki’s body, his nose brushed over Tony’s hair. The urge to just close his eyes and lean into Loki was almost overwhelming.

“I have a destination in mind… a bit too far to go there by car. I could take us there if you’re okay with that…”

Tony blinked, staring at Loki with big eyes. “You’re serious? Is that even possible?”

Loki smirked softly, his lips close to Tony’s ear. “I’ve written you a list with everything I can do. Don’t act surprised… So would that by alright?”

Hell yes.

Sliding one arm around Loki’s waist Tony rested his chin on his shoulder. “Sure, I’m all for teleportation, but there lots of people around…”

“Again, you’ve seen the list of I can do.” A kiss was pressed to his cheek and Tony sighed happily. So that was what it felt like. Not to be intimidated at all by someone’s immense power. Tony thought there would be a slight tingle or that he’d feel something. That never happened. The noise of the city faded away, the air was suddenly filled with the salty and fresh smile of the sea. Pulling slightly back Tony looked around and found himself at a breathtakingly beautiful beach. White sand and palms. “So… that’s your idea of a date? I like it…”

Five minutes later they were both comfortably lying on a deckchair, an exotic drink in hand and Loki looked so incredibly smug. “This is how you do it…”

“I had no idea you were such a snob… you can’t do with some extravagance…”

“Why should I climb up a wall in a stuffy hall when I can relax and watch the sun going down at the beach?” Loki sipped on his drink and Tony’s eyes fixed the horizon. He had been too distracted to notice until now that the sun was setting down. “Hey, we were just having breakfast! Where are we? Europe?”

“Greece.” Loki explained. “A small island only accessible by boat. There’s only one hotel. I like to pop up here every once in a while. When the city is getting too loud… or too bright. It’s beautiful and I like the remoteness of it.”

Re-enacting what they had done last night Tony reached for Loki’s hand and entwined their fingers. “Thanks for bringing me here… for… I don’t know. Sharing this with me. It’s weird, I know that you like to spend an entire night looking at the stars and I’m still surprised that you’re such a romantic…”

Loki huffed in fake indignation. “Because I like to watch the sunset on the beach? We can go and play mini-golf if this is too sappy for you?”

“No. I’ll take the sunset.”

 ***

After watching the sunset on a Greek island, having lunch in a restaurant in Soho and a long walk through Prospect Park they ended up back at the tower. On the couch, kissing. Of course there had been kisses the entire day, but in the privacy of their home Tony could do all the things he had longed to do for weeks now. Or maybe even longer.

Lots of it had to do with Loki’s hair. Tony discovered that he loved running his fingers through it. Twisting a single strand around his fingers. It felt soft, silky and Tony couldn’t get enough of the smell. Fresh and somewhat fruity. It took Tony a couple of minutes to pluck up the courage, but he eventually fisted both hands in Loki’s hair, holding his head still like that. His heart skipped a beat when Loki didn’t protest, but only moved closer.

Loki’s hand was on Tony’s thigh and Tony wanted them to be everywhere. The feeling was mutual, Tony was sure of that. That beautiful, sometimes stoic and definitely smart-ass  guy uttered soft sighs as Tony trailed little kisses on Loki’s neck. Tony had had no idea that Loki could even sound like that. Some other time he would comment on it. Not now when he wanted to study every inch of Loki’s body and his reactions.

Letting go off Loki’s hair Tony put his hands on his hips and moved between those long legs, pushing Loki back against the armrest.

“You know that I’ve fantasised about this almost all the time we’ve sitting on the couch together?” Tony mumbled the words against Loki’s skin, slightly scraping his teeth over it.

“Yes, I know…” Loki whispered back, his fingers running up and down Tony’s back. “You are many things but not subtle.”

No and Tony never tried to be, they both were perfectly aware of that. First a smile, then a new kiss. Tony slipped one hand beneath Loki’s shirt to feel his skin. Warm, soft and so… Tony stopped. Something wasn’t right. Pulling back Tony pushed Loki’s shirt up further to take a look at his stomach.

The memory of the last time they had been in a familiar position was all to present. Tony perfectly remembered the open wound. Nasty but clearly not enough to put Loki’s life in danger. Looking bad Tony realised that he had never even considered that it might leave a scar. How?

It was right there.

Now Tony saw his own lousy job of stitching Loki up. Immortalized in a small scar above his naval. Tony was overwhelmed from all the different thoughts that flooded his head. Every single one of an intensity that threatened to make him tremble. Anger at himself for not doing a better job and leaving Loki with a more obvious scar than necessary. Sadness from the memory of Loki’s constant melancholy. Rage. Simply because Tony suddenly remembered that there had been a guy who had stabbed Loki.

“What’s wrong?”

Tony’s eyes darted back to Loki’s face, green eyes looking at him questionably. “I… sorry, I didn’t realise that… I didn’t think that this would leave a scar.”

The pleased expression turned into a frown. “That’s what happens when you get stabbed by a magic blade…”

“Yes, but…” Tony took a breath. His heart was now racing for all the wrong reasons. “I’ve seen you receiving worse treatment and nothing left a trace.”

Loki’s own hand moved down to cover the scar for a moment. His lips hinted at a smile. “Sure, but it was me who enchanted that blade. It was meant to do damage… not to me, sure. It’s just a scar. Hard tissue. Nothing more.”

It was way more and both of them knew that. Pushing all that anger aside Tony leaned down and pulled Loki’s hand away. Ever so careful Tony traced the scar tissue with his fingers. “If I had known that it would stick, I would have done a better job at stitching you up…”

For some reason Tony didn’t dare to look up a Loki, but immediately leaned into the touch when he felt Loki playing with his hair. “You did fine…”

Brushing his lips over the scar Tony shook his head. “You shouldn’t should have this scar in the first place… why were you dating such an asshole? And why am I talking about this? Forget what I said.”

“I don’t mind. The scar and you talking about it. Sure, I would have preferred not getting stabbed, but things turned out for the better from there on. Don’t you agree?”

Loki’s voice was so gentle, it made it impossible for Tony not to meet his eyes. None of the melancholy to find there. None of it. The scar was still here and so were they. “Yeah… Yeah, you are right.”

Moving back up Tony was met with a smile. Tony thought about telling Loki that he was never going to leave any scars on him. But Loki pulling him into a new kiss told him that it wasn’t necessary. Loki knew.


End file.
